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JOKES!
Mar 31, 2003 15:02:07 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Mar 31, 2003 15:02:07 GMT -5
Göran Persson (Swedish prime minister):
The chicked crossed the road 'cos we (the social democrats) wanted him to. BTW did you want the chicken to cross the road? No? Well, then it was the goverment of 89 who told the chicken to cross the road, not us. What? Oh, sorry my mistake, you wanted the chicken to cross, then it was us after all who told him to do it.
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DUNK
Lawn Killing Metal God
you can"t dance to this it will fuck yer legs up . MHB1798
Posts - 1,658 
Likes - 0
Joined - January 1970
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JOKES!
Apr 10, 2003 15:07:49 GMT -5
Post by DUNK on Apr 10, 2003 15:07:49 GMT -5
STOP THE PRESS
IRELAND SUFFERED IT"S WORST AIR DISASTER TODAY
WHEN A TWO SEATED BI PLANE CRASHED INTO A CEMETARY
POLICE SAY THEY HAVE FOUND 1,600 DEAD AND ARE TO RESUME DIGGING FOR MORE BODIES AT FIRST LIGHT TOMORROW.
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JOKES!
Apr 11, 2003 6:36:53 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Apr 11, 2003 6:36:53 GMT -5
Bloody good one!!!
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JOKES!
Apr 12, 2003 11:59:36 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Apr 12, 2003 11:59:36 GMT -5
A girl was just about to jump from the docks in Gothenburg. Just when se was about to jump a nice handsome sailor walks up to her and asks why she want's to jump.
She replies: My life sucks, my boyfriend was unfaithful, my parents hates me and all my friends has left me.
Well he said, I can get you to a boat to America for free, if I can make love to you each night of the trip.
OK, she said, after all he was really good looking and she wanted to get away, so she agreed to the terms.
They decided to meet at the docks after sunset.
After lying in a lifeboat for three weeks she was dicovered buy the captain and he asks was she's doing.
She tells him her story and the captain listens to it and then he replies.
You have really been screwed, that's for sure. Tis is the boat to Norway!!!
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DUNK
Lawn Killing Metal God
you can"t dance to this it will fuck yer legs up . MHB1798
Posts - 1,658
Likes - 0
Joined - January 1970
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JOKES!
Apr 15, 2003 16:43:21 GMT -5
Post by DUNK on Apr 15, 2003 16:43:21 GMT -5
A RATHER GOOD LOOKING WOMAN GOES INTO A PET SHOP TO BUY HER DOG SOME FOOD
WHILST THERE SHE NOTICES A BOX AND WRITTEN ON IT SAYS SNATCH LICKING FROGS 10$ EACH(instructions enclosed)
SHE WHISPERS TO THE SHOP KEEPER "I"LL TAKE ONE" AND WITH THE DOG FOOD SHE GOES HOME.
AT HOME SHE TAKES OUT THE INSTRUCTIONS AND READS THEM CAREFULLY AND DOSE EXACTILY WHAT IS SAYS
1.TAKE A SHOWER AND PUT ON BEST PERFUME
2.PUT ON VERY SEXY UNDERWEAR
3.CRAWL INTO BED SPREAD LEGS AND PUT FROG DOWN THERE.
TO HER SUPRISE NOTHING HAPPENS SO SHE CHANGES PURFUME
STILL NOTHING
SHE IS TOTALLY PISSED OFF WITH THIS SO SHE READS THE INSTRUCTIONS IN CASE SHE MAY OF MISSED SOMETHING OUT
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE INSTRUCTIONS IN SMALL TYPE IT READS
if you have any problems call the store of purchase
SO SHE DOSE
THE MAN FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER SAYS I"V HAD A FEW COMPLAINTS EARLIER I"LL BE RIGHT OVER
AFTER HE GETS TO HER HOME THE WOMAN SAYS
"SEE I"V DONE EVERYTHING IN THE INSTRUCTIONS AN THE DAMN THING JUST SITS THERE"
THE MAN LOOKING CONCENED PICKS UP THE FROG LOOKS DIRECTLY INTO ITS EYES AND SAYS.................................................................................................................................................................................."LOOK I"M GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THIS ONE MORE TIME ;D
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JOKES!
Apr 20, 2003 16:49:28 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Apr 20, 2003 16:49:28 GMT -5
Two, all but quick, farmers were standing and cahtting about all and nothing when the first farmer asked the other one of his cows were smoking.
No said the second one, they don't.
Ok... said the first one and the discussion continued for a while... Again he asked if his cows were smoking and he still got the answer "no"
But when the first farmer got "no" for the third time he added: In that case, your cowshed is on fire
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JOKES!
Apr 24, 2003 13:42:48 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Apr 24, 2003 13:42:48 GMT -5
What should you do if Bitchy throws a steel-pin at you?
- Run fast as a shark! She's holding an armed handgrenade.
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DUNK
Lawn Killing Metal God
you can"t dance to this it will fuck yer legs up . MHB1798
Posts - 1,658
Likes - 0
Joined - January 1970
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JOKES!
Apr 24, 2003 14:59:41 GMT -5
Post by DUNK on Apr 24, 2003 14:59:41 GMT -5
A NEW FORM OF VIAGRA CAME OUT TODAY
YOU SPRAY IT INTO YOU EYES
IT DOSE NOTHIN FOR YOUR SEX LIFE
BUT YOU LOOK FUCKIN HARD ;D
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DUNK
Lawn Killing Metal God
you can"t dance to this it will fuck yer legs up . MHB1798
Posts - 1,658
Likes - 0
Joined - January 1970
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JOKES!
Apr 24, 2003 15:09:48 GMT -5
Post by DUNK on Apr 24, 2003 15:09:48 GMT -5
WARNING DON"T READ THIS ONE IF YOU GET OFFENDED
IT"S A REAL BAD TASTE ENGLISH SICKO JOKE. I DID"NT THINK IT UP EITHER...
THAT BADLY INJURD KID FROM IRAQ HAS BEEN ARRESTED BY AMERICAN TROOPS WHILST IN HOSPITAL
FOR CARRYING SMALL ARMS
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JOKES!
Apr 27, 2003 14:17:20 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Apr 27, 2003 14:17:20 GMT -5
And now you get two for the price of one...
Two not so intelligent policemen found a dead man beside a Peugeot. One of them asks the other: - How do you spell "Peugeuot"?
- I have no idea, let's move him to a BMW instead...
Two politicians ware smalltalking between two sessions and one asked the other:
- What did you say regarding the taxes?
- Nothing!
- But of course, but how did you say it?
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JOKES!
Apr 30, 2003 8:45:48 GMT -5
Post by lutefisk on Apr 30, 2003 8:45:48 GMT -5
FAIRY TALE FOR THE WOMAN OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM
Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into a Princess' lap and said : "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you however and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't f$@&ing think so."
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DUNK
Lawn Killing Metal God
you can"t dance to this it will fuck yer legs up . MHB1798
Posts - 1,658
Likes - 0
Joined - January 1970
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JOKES!
May 10, 2003 19:13:45 GMT -5
Post by DUNK on May 10, 2003 19:13:45 GMT -5
MICHAEL BARRYMORE IS THINGING ADOUT SIGHING AS GOALY FOR THE BAGGIES AS HE FINDS THE IDEA OF HAVING 10 ASS HOLES IN FRONT OF HIM AND 27,000 PRICKS BEHIND HIM TO OVERWHELMING TO TURN DOWN
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JOKES!
May 10, 2003 19:53:22 GMT -5
Post by Copelasmatron on May 10, 2003 19:53:22 GMT -5
I went to the doctors the other day with a runny nose
Flu? asked the doc
No says I, I got the bus
boom boom
Anyway, the nurse tells me to get up on the couch
Are you going to examine me? I ask
No I want to vacuum the carpet she says
booooooooom booooooooooooooooom
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JOKES!
May 16, 2003 6:07:50 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on May 16, 2003 6:07:50 GMT -5
Two men discussing things:
- If I went over to your house and screwed your wife, would that make us relatives?
- No, but eaven!
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JOKES!
Nov 16, 2003 11:47:39 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Nov 16, 2003 11:47:39 GMT -5
Three surgeons were discussing who they enjoy most to do a sugery on.
First: - I like electricians most, they got all their organs marked with colorcodes.
Second: - Librarians, they got all organs in alphabetical order.
Third: - Politicians: No spine, no brain and no heart and if you by mistake mix up the head with their ass, no one can tell the diffrence.
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