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JOKES!
Aug 26, 2002 14:22:44 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Aug 26, 2002 14:22:44 GMT -5
There was an American, an Englishman and Norwegian sitting and bragging about their countries. The English said if the RAF came flying over us we wouldn't be able to see the sky. The American said if the Navy came by we wouldn't see the ocean. Well, said the Norwegian, I can put let three crows sit on my dick. The English felt the he might have been exaggerating so he said you would see some sky between the wings... The American confessed that you would be able to see some water there. Well said the Norwegian; You guys are so honest so I don't feel like lying to you. There are some space between the three birds as well...
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JOKES!
Aug 26, 2002 15:05:06 GMT -5
Post by Copelasmatron on Aug 26, 2002 15:05:06 GMT -5
good gag that Juggernaut.
Here's an old one that you'll all know
1st man - My dog has no nose
2nd man - How does he smell?
1st man - Terrible
I love that old chestnut ;D
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JOKES!
Aug 29, 2002 14:54:17 GMT -5
Post by DIKA on Aug 29, 2002 14:54:17 GMT -5
Why won't Jesus work in Israel?
He get's hammered with tax...
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JOKES!
Sept 1, 2002 14:33:34 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Sept 1, 2002 14:33:34 GMT -5
The diffrence between a hooker and a light-bulb? You can't unscrew the hooker
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JOKES!
Sept 14, 2002 13:09:50 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Sept 14, 2002 13:09:50 GMT -5
Wacko-Jacko:s (michael (a?) jackson) wife gave birth to a son and afterwards Wacko asked the doctor: -How long will it take before we can have sex? -I'd wait until he's at least 12.
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JOKES!
Sept 14, 2002 18:14:12 GMT -5
Post by Legion on Sept 14, 2002 18:14:12 GMT -5
;D
A science student takes a trip to the countryside. He finds a farmer with two cows, one white and one black. "Oh excuse me, I'm a student, may I ask you some questions?" "Ya?" "Well, those cows of yours. How much milk do they produce?" "The white one gives about four litres a day" "And the black one?" "Too." "I see. How much grass do they eat?" "Ah, the white one eats five kilos a day" "And the black one?" "Too." "What about the offspring?" "The white one gives birth to three a year." "And the black one?" "Too." "Excuse me sir, but why you're keeping answering about the white one when they both do the exact same things?" "Aah, cuz the white one is mine." "And the black one?" "Too."
;D
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JOKES!
Sept 20, 2002 6:25:52 GMT -5
Post by Rolly on Sept 20, 2002 6:25:52 GMT -5
Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it but can't eat it. Q: How is a woman like a condom? A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken? A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike? A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.
Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky? A: Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? A: Put a nipple on it.
Q. What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job? A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q: What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig? A: A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.
Q: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? A: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Q: What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A. She is the one who can eat the last donut! Q: What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom? A: A pick pocket snatches watches.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room.
Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? A: They are both used as substitute meat.
Q: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs? A: One is a goodyear, and the other is a great year!
Q: What do old women have between their breasts that young women don't? A: A bellybutton! Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts? A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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JOKES!
Sept 21, 2002 19:30:34 GMT -5
Post by Legion on Sept 21, 2002 19:30:34 GMT -5
Must wash eyes...
;D
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JOKES!
Sept 22, 2002 7:11:10 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Sept 22, 2002 7:11:10 GMT -5
The biggest joke of all times is Bitch Spears
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JOKES!
Sept 22, 2002 9:11:22 GMT -5
Post by Legion on Sept 22, 2002 9:11:22 GMT -5
Did you spot her trying to go rock chick? Oh goodness.
;D
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JOKES!
Sept 22, 2002 14:58:35 GMT -5
Post by Juggernaut on Sept 22, 2002 14:58:35 GMT -5
I did, then I bvecame sick, and my ears DID bleed!
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JOKES!
Sept 22, 2002 16:53:21 GMT -5
Post by DIKA on Sept 22, 2002 16:53:21 GMT -5
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
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JOKES!
Oct 18, 2002 17:48:30 GMT -5
Post by Legion on Oct 18, 2002 17:48:30 GMT -5
"The sinners are gonna burn in Hell for Eternity!" "What about the other ones?" "The other ones who?"
;D
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JOKES!
Mar 7, 2003 10:01:16 GMT -5
Post by Bomber on Mar 7, 2003 10:01:16 GMT -5
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, "Quit it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at their keyboards and typed away. They moused. They scanned. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They RTFed and PDFed. They FTPed, JPGed and WAVed. They formatted spreadsheets. They edited reports. They Powerpointed. They uploaded and downloaded. They created websites. They hyperlinked, aliased and redirected.
They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky. Thunder rolled, rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in The Underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He must have cheated! How did he do that?" God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."
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JOKES!
Mar 7, 2003 11:19:05 GMT -5
Post by Legion on Mar 7, 2003 11:19:05 GMT -5
HAHAHAHAHA GREAT one Bomber ;D
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