Post by Copelasmatron on Apr 13, 2002 14:46:45 GMT -5
Every now and then for a bit of fun, me and Dika attempt to smuggle spoof CD reviews onto amazon.co.uk. These reviews are so ludicrously inaccurate, yet we still get emails from people correcting our mistakes.
Here's my review of Iron Maiden's Brave New World which has angered many a humourless Maiden fan. I can't find Dika's review of the same CD but it's somewhere on amazon. I love Maiden by the way.
THE RETURN OF METAL, 21 December, 2000
Reviewer: John Copeland (theboycopeland@hotmail.com) from Gateshead, England
The mighty Maiden return with their best album in donkey's years. Fans have waited for a true Maiden classic since 1980's "Wheels of Steel" and with "Brave New World" they deliver the goods in spades. The procedings are kicked off in classic Maiden style with the hit single "The Wicker Man" which contains a sing along chant reminiscent of "Heaven Can't Wait" from their vastly underated "Number of The Beast" album. By far the best track on the album is the epic "Blood Brothers". This track is dedicated to the late father of bass player Steve "arry" Harris, who used to accompany the erstwhile metal veteran when he would stand on the football terraces as a child, decked out in the famous claret and blue of his beloved Aston Villa. It's also great to see the return of renowned wailer Bruce "Dika" Dickinson and axeman Adrian "Salty" Smith. The three pronged axe attack works a treat with Janet "Gersy" Gers coming into her own as a capable support act to Smith and Dave "Minty" Murray". It once seemed unbelieveable when Maiden introduced a female member but they've proved all of the doubters wrong. Gers is so much more than something nice to look at for the male audience. Other great tracks include "Ghost of the Navigator" (which as a previous reviewer has already said, is about a great loss suffered by Dickenson) and "The Mercenary" which is another Harris classic, supposedly inspired by the current invasion of money seeking foreign footballers. The only reason for not giving the full compliment of five stars is the fact that a lot of the songs are a bit short, although as I have already said, this is easily the best Maiden album in years. Of recent Maiden albums, only 1990's "Fear of the Dark" comes close to this. I urge you to invest in this CD asap (no pun intended on Smiths solo career).
and here's Dika's Megadeth Review for the Live Trax CD:
the mighty mustaine returns, 20 January, 2001
Reviewer: (lickmeplums@blueyonder.co.uk) from Tampa Bay newcastle
after waiting many years (aside from singles) for a megadeth release of a live album i was outstanded to hear about "livrtrax". the album was recorded on 1984s 'use your illusion' tour catching megadeth at the height of there alternative progressive phase. The solo on Tornado is amazing - it's hard to believe Dave Mustaine only has three fingers! after hearing these 10 traks i was very pleased especially after holy wars - it's good to hear the 'Deth play something from their first album. The guitar work is great on all of the tracks, most noticably on 'Enter Sandman' - i cant believe the once famous kerry king who was outstanding for megadeth just disappeared after such a great album. a must for any megadeth fan.
Here's my review of Iron Maiden's Brave New World which has angered many a humourless Maiden fan. I can't find Dika's review of the same CD but it's somewhere on amazon. I love Maiden by the way.
THE RETURN OF METAL, 21 December, 2000
Reviewer: John Copeland (theboycopeland@hotmail.com) from Gateshead, England
The mighty Maiden return with their best album in donkey's years. Fans have waited for a true Maiden classic since 1980's "Wheels of Steel" and with "Brave New World" they deliver the goods in spades. The procedings are kicked off in classic Maiden style with the hit single "The Wicker Man" which contains a sing along chant reminiscent of "Heaven Can't Wait" from their vastly underated "Number of The Beast" album. By far the best track on the album is the epic "Blood Brothers". This track is dedicated to the late father of bass player Steve "arry" Harris, who used to accompany the erstwhile metal veteran when he would stand on the football terraces as a child, decked out in the famous claret and blue of his beloved Aston Villa. It's also great to see the return of renowned wailer Bruce "Dika" Dickinson and axeman Adrian "Salty" Smith. The three pronged axe attack works a treat with Janet "Gersy" Gers coming into her own as a capable support act to Smith and Dave "Minty" Murray". It once seemed unbelieveable when Maiden introduced a female member but they've proved all of the doubters wrong. Gers is so much more than something nice to look at for the male audience. Other great tracks include "Ghost of the Navigator" (which as a previous reviewer has already said, is about a great loss suffered by Dickenson) and "The Mercenary" which is another Harris classic, supposedly inspired by the current invasion of money seeking foreign footballers. The only reason for not giving the full compliment of five stars is the fact that a lot of the songs are a bit short, although as I have already said, this is easily the best Maiden album in years. Of recent Maiden albums, only 1990's "Fear of the Dark" comes close to this. I urge you to invest in this CD asap (no pun intended on Smiths solo career).
and here's Dika's Megadeth Review for the Live Trax CD:
the mighty mustaine returns, 20 January, 2001
Reviewer: (lickmeplums@blueyonder.co.uk) from Tampa Bay newcastle
after waiting many years (aside from singles) for a megadeth release of a live album i was outstanded to hear about "livrtrax". the album was recorded on 1984s 'use your illusion' tour catching megadeth at the height of there alternative progressive phase. The solo on Tornado is amazing - it's hard to believe Dave Mustaine only has three fingers! after hearing these 10 traks i was very pleased especially after holy wars - it's good to hear the 'Deth play something from their first album. The guitar work is great on all of the tracks, most noticably on 'Enter Sandman' - i cant believe the once famous kerry king who was outstanding for megadeth just disappeared after such a great album. a must for any megadeth fan.
